FINAL YEARS Stories of Parent Care, Loss and Lives Changed

My second book, FINAL YEARS STORIES OF Parent Care, Loss and Lives Changed is now available on Kindle and Nook. I share this with you in case you are in the shoes of being a caregiver for your parents or know someone else in the caregiver’s shoes. Here is the description: 

“Helping our parents’ transition through aging, decline and death changes many adult children's lives forever. It shakes their very foundation. Caregivers often feel lost and alone and don't know where to turn for support in a culture where sharing feelings about the decline of a loved one, emotional pain and loss may not be well-received. Many tears are cried while making difficult choices with and for loved ones.

In this book ten people share their stories of tough roads of decision-making, family dynamics, grief, and moving on. The author weaves her own account through each of their chapters. While reading these stories in the caregivers’ voice, readers will know they are not alone but part of a "hidden tribe" who share a common bond. They will find guidance for navigating their way through their parents' final years as they find themselves in the stories of others in this book.

This book is for anyone caring for aging parents, for anyone grappling with sibling conflict during this difficult time, for anyone who has lost a parent, and for those with unresolved guilt or regret around their parent's decline and death. It is also for parent elders who wish to look through the eyes of children as the adult caregivers.”

FINAL YEARS Stories of Parent Care, Loss and Lives Changed is currently available on Amazon Kindle, and on Barnes and Noble Nook. I hope you will share this with friends you care about who are dealing with caring for aging or declining parents, or their loss. It will soon be having its' own separate blog.

 

Adventures in the Life of A Therapy Dog

During my years with Maggie, I didn't know about therapy dogs and all the places they could visit to make a difference in people's lives. Service dogs, yes, but not therapy dogs. I wish I had, because in retrospect, Maggie would have been an amazing therapy dog. She was a natural with the people she met, and brightened their days, but had I known, I'd have her visiting people as Chloe (our 11 year old Golden retriever we adopted a year after Maggie passed) did at Sunrise Assisted Living, and the way Maddie is now doing at the Juvenile Center.

On my visit this past Wednesday at the Juvenile Center with Maddie, I talked about canine intelligence. "How many words can dogs understand?" I asked the kids.

"200 words," offered one boy.

"Pretty good! Plus or minus," I said. "Some dogs can understand 250 words, and some people think perhaps even more."

Yet when I asked, "How many of you think dogs are intelligent?" this same boy shook his head.

"Why not?" I inquired.

"They're just animals," he said.

Just animals. Wow. So we talked about different kinds of intelligence; the left brain intelligence humans typically live in compared with the more instinctual intelligence of animals that many humans have lost touch with.

"I hope by the time we finish today you might change your mind about dog intelligence and capabilities." I informed them about seizure and diabetic alert dogs, and how some dogs have alerted mothers to an infant that stopped breathing, saving the baby's life.

"I didn't know dogs did that," the boy said with a bit of wonder and a smile. Watching his openness to the new information he was hearing warmed me.

Then I mentioned how humans respond according to what's expected of them, children and adults alike. If people are seen through a filter of not being very smart, that's often how they respond. Yet if teachers and parents look at a child through eyes that say "you can...you are capable...you are smart--that's often the performance they get from the child.

"Perhaps dogs respond similarly to what we expect of them," I suggested. I know that's how it was with Maggie. I spoke to her as though she'd understand what I wanted, and most often she did. Through her I learned to see dogs as capable of so much more than I'd been taught, because like this boy I,too, was raised to believe that "they're just animals." Thankfully, my 2 dogs since Maggie have benefited from what she taught me.

I taught them about positive reinforcement dog training, and how dogs learned so well when it was fun and they were rewarded for what they did right rather than only receiving corrections to what they did wrong. I asked how they felt if they only heard about the things they did "wrong" vs. praise for what they did well. I think they got it.

Maddie took turns retrieving her toy with each most of the teens there -- one boy didn't wish to participate, appearing to be lost in his internal world. Difficult, no doubt. The holidays approaching and here he was ... I taught the kids some of the commands Maddie knew so they could use them with her while playing: (come -- drop -- give it -- wait -- watch me -- and OK). I had her shake with them.

Our time was up quickly. Today was a court day for them. I wished them all luck.

"I learned something today," said the boy who previously thought dogs to be unintelligent.

Nothing could have made my day more at that point. Maddie and I left, feeling we made a difference in at least one high risk teen's life today, and hopefully for the dogs and animals that cross his path in the future. We walked out through the secured doors, hoping for a brighter future for all of them.

Top Photo: Maggie (age 3 1/2 years) & me
Lower Photo: Maddie on a hike with Tom and me

Posted By:

Dawn Kairns
Author of MAGGIE the dog who changed my life A Story of Love

Website: www.dawnkairns.com Blog: Dawn Kairns and Maggie the Dog Twitter: www.twitter.com/themaggiebook

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